The Comparison Complex

This post was written by my wonderful, wisdomful wife – Harley Alexander. 


I am insecure. 

My biggest fear is what other people think about me. More than anything is this world (even more than I want to meet Leonard DiCaprio) I want to be liked. I want to be accepted. I want to have friends who think I am funny and nice and cool.

I suffer from what I liked to call the comparison complex. I find value in myself by comparing myself to others and evaluating where I stand in relation to them.

i.e. “She may be prettier than me, but I go to a better school.” “She may have a cooler job, but at least I am prettier.”

Horrible? Yes. 

Have you thought this way too? Probably.

I believe that our society breeds competition. We feel we have to be the prettiest, smartest, richest, strongest, best in the world, in order to be loved. 

So what do we do if we see someone who is “better than us?”

Naturally out of competition, we find a way to “win” To beat that other person by finding ways that we are better then them.

Sometimes, in order to find love for ourselves, we forget what it means to love others -Houston Kraft

But what if we change the way we think?

What if the only way we can be great, is to celebrate the greatness of others? To cheer on other’s successes & have them cheer on ours? 

What if the only way to fill the love holes in our hearts is to flood them with a sincere love for others? 

Look at it this way: the more cookies you bake, the more there will be for everyone to share. No need to fight over who gets more because there was enough for everyone! Same goes for love. Except, loves has WAY less calories and takes much less time to produce. 

Just remember: it all starts with a choice. And today, I CHOOSE LOVE.